My Spiderman Movie

Congratulations on Kristen Dunst and her 24th birthday. In honour of such I thought I would write a quick summary of how the next Spiderman movie would go if I was writing it.
I see a late night abduction where Spiderman's new nemisis, "Disturbed Man" ties up Kristen's character with plastic ties. Kristen has on basic hot, but simple bed gear. That would be tight sweat pants and a thin fabric top with her nipples telling the world, and better yet the bad guy, "how can you resist these?"
Well, of course the bad guy cannot resist her. He does things to her that, let us just say, moves the film from PG-13 to R in a hurry. So villian "Disturbed Guy" has Spiderman's squeeze darn near stripped, cuffed and gagged on his couch. Spiderman is nowhere to be found. In fact, in MY Spiderman movie, Spiderman would not be around that much. Men in tights are not my thing.

So the bad guy does not want to kill her, so he does the next best thing. He sells her to a white slaver. The next scenes of the movie have her adapting to slavery as apparently spider senses do not travel over oil and sand.

Nobody ever hears from Spiderman's girlfriend again and she is replaced by Hillary Duff in the next movie.

Under this line would be a clever photo-tag if photos were not taking so long to download today. Heck, will give you a reason to come back. Right?